How To Deal With Debt Problems As A Couple
Posted on October 1st, 2010 in Budgeting, Debt Assistance, Frugal Living Tips | No Comments »
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photo credit: Ed Yourdon
They say that disagreements over money cause more relationship break-ups than any other factor. Money can be a touchy subject for so many reasons; whether that’s because two partners in a relationship value money differently, earn different amounts, like to budget in different ways or have different spending habits. The possibilities for conflict are many and varied.
However one of the most serious financial situations for a couple to get into involves the issue of serious debt. I don’t just mean a few hundred dollars on a credit card but rather when the debt situation starts to damage the relationship you have with your partner. When it is causing arguments and leading to unnecessary stress in an otherwise enjoyable and rewarding relationship.
Having had a similar experience myself in the past I thought that a few pointers on dealing with debt problems with your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife might come in useful for some regular readers.
Understand The Problem
The first step in dealing with debt problems as a couple is laying your cards on the table. Be honest with each other about the problem. Pull out the bills. Run the figures. Get a good grasp of how serious the situation is so you both know exactly what is going on and neither of you is with-holding information.
This first step is almost certainly the hardest and most painful and you both need to work together, openly and honestly, without name-calling or blame, in order to both really clear the air and understand your situation.
Understand The Cause
Once you know how serious your debt problems are, what you owe and to whom the next step is to examine the causes of this debt. Perhaps you just both spend more than you earn. Maybe one of you has an obsession with buying a certain product. Maybe they are even gambling debts.
Whatever the situation you need to look long and hard at the situation to try and understand how you have managed to get yourself into this situation in the first place. Only by doing this will you be able to start to understand how you’re going to get back out of debt again and furthermore how you’re going to ensure you don’t slip back into debt in the future.
Try looking at the bills that you owe to see what you bought that lead to them. Discuss why the bills weren’t paid when they first arrived – what else did you spend money on? Credit card bills, bank statements and utility bills can all be used to get a better understanding of your financial situation and where your money has been going while you clocked up debt.
Agree On A Solution To Your Debt Problem
Once you have a deep and honest understanding of your financial situation the next step in the process of becoming debt free is to examine ways you are going to dig yourself back out again.
A good idea seems to be to put some time aside with a piece of paper each and a calculator where you can sit and brainstorm ideas. Be as wild and crazy as you like with your suggestions and once you have a list go through the ideas and discuss them in far more depth.
Both of you must be constructive and positive and willing to make sacrifices to get your financial situation under control so again it is important that you are both in the right frame of mind if this step is going to work properly.
Work Together To Become Debt Free
Once you have a plan that you both agree on to help you get out of debt the final element is working on making the plan a reality together. Consider planning monthly progress meetings where you can see how much progress you have made and agree that you will discuss all major financial transactions like household bills, income and so on regularly so you can both feel certain the plan is being actioned and no secrets are being with held.
